Mrs Grissom
by Moggie
Summary: [COMPLETE][GSR] Grissom's mother visits and stirs things up.
1. Default Chapter

Mrs. Grissom  
  
Author: Moggie  
  
Rating: PG-13 Category: Angst, Romance Spoilers: Maybe Season 1,2 &3, just to be safe. Summary: Grissom's mother visits and stirs things up. Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances, own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Notes: I don't know much about Grissom's mother and I don't think many others do either, so I'm playing by ear and making certain things up for the story.  
  
Three years ago, she visited her son at his place of work. Three years ago, she met Catherine Willows and Doc Robbins. Maybe by coincidence, Warrick Brown and Nick Stokes were elsewhere when she visited. Although her visit was short, she got to see where her only son works.  
  
Only last month did Gil Grissom contact his mother. The past few months had been busy with high profile cases and not to mention his personal problems. He rang her with one soul purpose and that was only to tell her about his surgery. She knew about the disease, as she has it herself, but Grissom never told her that he was suffering the onset of temporary hearing loss. He explained that he had waited and confessed that he was still coming to terms with his condition.  
  
During that last conversation, Grissom was shocked and is possibly still in shock by his mother's proposal. She decided on the spot that she was going to be in Vegas. This was one month ago and now Grissom was waiting at the airport.  
  
He had taken the morning off. Although he usually stayed behind after shift ended to catch up on paperwork, he decided that he was going to get to the airport and make sure he wasn't late and that his mother arrived without any problems.  
  
The flight calls were booming out of the speakers and being only four weeks since his surgery, he winced at the slight pain in his left ear. The ringing stopped almost immediately, but it still made him shake his head slightly to shift the uncomfortable feeling.  
  
Flicking out his wrist, he revealed his watch. Sighing, he sat back down on one of the waiting chairs in the arrival lounge. He knew that the flight from Las Angeles was going to be late, but he didn't know how long. Just as he was beginning to relax into the chair, his cell phone broke through the loud chatter and flight calls.  
  
Delving into his jacket pocket, he pulled the vibrating and incessant ringing plastic into view and read the display. 'Sara'  
  
Looking up at the gate suddenly, 'Flight 347 from Las Angeles, now arriving, Gate 12, Flight 347 from Las Angeles, now arriving, Gate 12'  
  
Biting his lip nervously, he looked back down at the phone. Flipping it open, he lifted it to his ear. "Grissom."  
  
"Hey." Sara's voice sounded tired and cheerful at the same time.  
  
Grissom leaned forward and pushed his fingers into his brow. "Hi, you need something?" He pulled the phone from his ear and palmed his face at the sound of his voice. He groaned at the cold and heartless tone. Pulling it back, he could hear absolutely nothing. "Sara?" God, please, don't hang up! He pleaded.  
  
Silence followed for a few more seconds, before she breathed heavily into the receiver. "Yeah, erm. sorry. I know you got off early, but. erm. I didn't mean to bother you. It can wait.I'll see you at work." She rambled, obviously catching him at a bad time.  
  
Feeling a warm hand on his shoulder, he jumped and looked up. His blue eyes met with equally blue. He smiled and instinctively closed his phone. He quickly looked down and cursed. "Damnit!" He stared at the phone in his hand and frowned at it.  
  
"Someone important?" The voice asked.  
  
Grissom took a deep breath and pushed the cell into his jacket pocket. He suddenly put on a calm face. "No. Just work." He pulled the older woman into a warm hug. Stepping back so she could see his hands, he looked down at the floor. 'Where are your Bags?' He asked, his hands moving quickly. She smiled and looped her arm through his as they made there way to the baggage conveyer belt.  
  
"I hope you introduce me to this woman you've been telling me about Gil." She smiled at him and looked up at him when she felt him sigh. "What's wrong?"  
  
Grissom stopped and looked at her with a frown. "I think I lost her Mother."  
  
She smiled sadly and pulled him into a hug. "Let's go home and talk about it." He nodded and pulled away. 


	2. Chapter 2

Marie Grissom sat back in Grissom's comfy armchair and raised her mug to her mouth as she watched her son stare into his coffee. "It can't be that bad." She said softly, sipping her coffee.  
  
Grissom sighed and nodded. "It's worse." He shrugged and put his coffee down, freeing his hands. He always felt better when he could talk with his hands. It seemed easier. 'I've not told anyone about my surgery.'  
  
Marie gave him a disapproving look and placed her mug on the coffee table. 'You told me you were trying Gil.'  
  
He grimaced. 'I am.'  
  
'Obviously not enough.' She thought about his surgery for a few minutes before realising something. 'You told Catherine.'  
  
He nodded. 'I had to. She had to take over at work while I was away.'  
  
'What about Sara?'  
  
The room fell into an uncomfortable silence and stillness. Marie watched her son stand and walk towards the window overlooking the street. "You told your best friend, but you didn't tell the woman you love?"  
  
Grissom turned sharply. 'I told my best friend and refused to tell the team.' He signed angrily.  
  
"Calm down." She told him as she stood up. Grissom rubbed his face and growled in despair. Marie grasped his hands and pulled them from his face. "Why didn't you tell her?"  
  
He breathed out heavily and shook his head with a small weak shrug of his shoulders. "I have no idea."  
  
"You do." She smiled. "You love her, but you're not telling her important things. I thought you talked to her about your feelings." Marie stared at her son and watched his guilty look show through. She sighed and turned away. "I'm going to bed. We'll talk tomorrow when you get home."  
  
Grissom closed his eyes and turned back to the window. His heart was pounding against his chest as he tried to figure out where all these feelings were coming from. He knew he felt something for Sara, but he didn't know if it was love. What was love? He'd never known that before, apart from his mother, he couldn't remember ever loving anyone.  
  
Later that night, Grissom walked through the lab. His nose was, as usual, stuck in a file. He went from one lab to the next, asking for updates, getting reports signed, helping his team on cases and checking up on Greg. He was helping Catherine in the field with photographing the scene.  
  
After he'd done the rounds of the lab, he snuck into the break room for a cup of coffee. Standing at the coffee pot, he heard a rustling. Turning with his coffee cup in hand and files under his arm, he looked over the rim of his glasses at the brunette sitting in the far corner of the room, reading through what looked like a forensic magazine.  
  
"I take it, you don't have work to do?" He asked politely.  
  
She looked up and closed her magazine. "Waiting on Greg to get done with my DNA. He's not back from the field yet." She explained.  
  
Grissom nodded and started walking towards the door. He turned back before he got over the threshold and looked at her for a few seconds. She was now leaning forward and reading her magazine. "Sara." He sighed.  
  
"What's up Grissom?" She asked, not turning to him.  
  
Running his index finger over his lower lip briefly, he tilted his head. "I." Stopping for a nervous breathe, he took a small step back. "I'll see where Greg is."  
  
Sara looked up as he turned and left the room. "Thanks." She said quietly to the now empty room.  
  
'Did you talk to Sara?' Marie signed to her son as he stepped through the door. He nodded and hung his jacket up. "So?" She asked, pushing a mug of coffee towards him as he sat at the breakfast bar.  
  
He sipped at his coffee and shook his head. "I fumbled, as usual."  
  
She nodded and reached out to cover his hand. Giving it a gently squeeze. "Maybe you could talk to Catherine."  
  
Grissom raised one eyebrow in question. After realising that she was suggesting Catherine help things with Sara, he shook his head vigorously. "Not a good idea. Sara would never forgive me if my only way to talk to her was to involve Catherine."  
  
Marie looked down at her coffee thoughtfully as Grissom drank his coffee. After a few different thoughts come and go, she reached out and patted Grissom's arm to get his attention. Even though she could call his name, he seemed too deep in thought and thought it the best way to get him to look at her. 'Can I see the lab?'  
  
Thinking about next shift, he nodded slowly. 'So far, it's a slow night. I don't see why not.' He got up to go shower and sleep.  
  
Later that night, Nick walked in with Sara laughing at what he had thought was a joke, but turned out to be a bad attempt at a joke. "SO bad Nicky. You need to work on your humour some more."  
  
Nick rolled his eyes and nudged her with his shoulder. "At least I can still test them out on you so I don't make a fool in front of a real woman." He teased.  
  
Sara swatted his arm in shock and scold at him. "Watch it buster."  
  
They both looked up when they finished their innocent bantering and exchanged puzzled looks when they saw Grissom, Catherine, Warrick and an elderly woman sitting at the table in the break room. Catherine smiled at them and motioned with her head for them to sit down. Nick took the last seat, leaving Sara to stand. She smiled and shook her head at Nick, but she didn't want to sit anyway. She hung her coat on the back of his chair before pouring herself a coffee. She turned with the coffee pot in her hand, asking silently if anyone wanted some. Getting a negative response, she leaned against the unit and drank her coffee.  
  
Grissom handed out the one and only assignment. "Nick and Warrick; B&E on 6th. Good luck." He handed Warrick the sheet, indicating he was lead. "Catherine, you've got court tomorrow morning, so. do your stuff." He told her and watched as Catherine stood and grabbed her coat. Warrick and Nick left for their crime scene, giving Sara a pat on the shoulder as they past her.  
  
She gave them confused looks, but shrugged to herself and looked up from her coffee. She saw the knowing look and grimaced. "Please don't say it." She pleaded.  
  
Grissom sighed and avoided the look on his mother's face. "Paperwork."  
  
Sara groaned and tipped the rest of her coffee down the drain. She walked towards the table and grabbed the pile that was set in front of Grissom. She growled at him. "I hate paperwork."  
  
"Helps improve your handwriting." He winced, as he looked straight at his mother.  
  
Sara harrumphed. "My handwriting is fine."  
  
Marie chuckled as Sara left them alone. 'She's amusing.'  
  
Grissom squinted. 'Don't let her hear you say that.'  
  
"She didn't have to Griss." Sara said as she walked back into the room and grabbed her coat from the chair Nick was sitting on. 'Nice to meet you Mrs Grissom.' Sara shocked them both by signing.  
  
Grissom sat there with his mouth hang slightly open as she turned her back and left the room. Marie recovered before her son and grinned. "Smart too." 


	3. Chapter 3

Sara grumbled to herself as she looked at her watch. Two hours and she was nowhere near finishing. She leaned her head into her palm as she continued to write. She stopped and looked at her handwriting, eyeing it with scepticism. "Look's ok." She mumbled.  
  
"I have no doubt you were saying something." Marie said as a greeting.  
  
Sara looked up and chuckled. "Well," She shrugged and pointed at the chair on the other side of the desk. "My handwriting is a bit messy. I think Nick once called it 'chicken scratch'."  
  
Marie smiled and looked at the pile off papers. "Why do you have so much paperwork?"  
  
Sara sighed and looked at Marie. "I love my job, the solving cases, putting the bad guys away, running with evidence. I'm not a paper pusher and I hate paperwork." She smiled slightly at the end and returned to signing a report before closing it.  
  
Marie watched Sara for a few minutes as she sat back in her chair. She could see why Grissom like her. Sara Sidle was practically the female Grissom, but she was never going to say that to him. She chuckled at the thought, making Sara look up. Marie shook her head and shrugged. "Just thinking?" Sara nodded. "How much sign language do you know? Gil told me that no one knew how to sign on his team."  
  
Sara put her pen down and smiled. 'Not much, but I'm still learning.' Although it was slow, she managed to sign without fumbling too much.  
  
"You sure knocked the wind out of Gil." Marie laughed.  
  
Sara looked down at her work and picked up her pen. "There's a first for everything." She whispered sadly.  
  
Marie followed her head when she looked down and only just made out what she said. Marie thought for a few minutes trying to piece together what was right in front of her. She watched Sara quietly as something came to mind, but wasn't sure if her son would like it. Determined to try and get these two together, she stood, getting Sara's attention. "You know, Gil's a great cook." She began as she pushed the chair closer towards the table. "And last time I was here, we had dinner with Catherine and Albert." She smiled, as she looked at Sara's hands held in mid-air. "It would be nice to have a dinner with everyone before I leave."  
  
Sara looked down briefly, but nodded and looked up. "Catherine's the person you should ask. I wouldn't know what to do and I'll probably be doing paperwork for a week." Marie nodded with a smile, which Sara returned politely. Sara stared at the empty doorway a little longer before shifting her eyes to the pile that still mocked her. Sighing with a strange relief, she pulled a thick file towards her.  
  
Grissom stared at Catherine with a disbelieving look. "My house?" He asked for the fifth time.  
  
"Yes." Catherine answered again with a frustrated sigh.  
  
Grissom removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not sure Cath."  
  
"Come on. We haven't had a nice dinner with friends in a while and that was about three years ago." Catherine was trying too hard and she knew it. Sighing, she stood up and dropped the file she was holding on his desk. "Fine. Forget it. I'll see if my place is acceptable."  
  
Grissom groaned in defeat. "Ok."  
  
Catherine turned and smiled. "Stop thinking of it as an execution Gil. It'll be fun."  
  
Grissom wouldn't believe it and probably wouldn't until the night. What was he supposed to do? His mother was talking to the team and suddenly Catherine comes in and wants to have a dinner party before his mother goes home.  
  
Sara closed the last file and collected up the pile so she could deliver her hard spend hours to her boss and hoped a case comes in. She walked down the hall and met Grissom coming the opposite way. "Finished. Where you want them?"  
  
Grissom looked up distractedly from his clipboard and pointed a thumb over his shoulder, indicating his office. Sara was somewhat crest fallen when he didn't even say hello or grace her with eye contact. She looked down at the floor, hurt, before heading towards his office. She left her files on his desk before heading to the break room.  
  
She walked in and saw Catherine and Marie talking on the couch. Sara continued for the coffee pot and poured herself a coffee. She then opened the fridge and pulled out her lunch. She sat at the table and pulled a forensics magazine towards her as she pulled out her salad sandwich.  
  
Catherine looked up and noticed Sara sitting and eating quietly. She watched as Sara stared at the same page for near ten minutes. Marie noticed this too and felt something was wrong. Catherine turned back to Marie, but looked at her hands. She had a feeling what was wrong, but didn't know what to say or do to help. She looked at Marie and smiled sadly. Marie understood and nodded.  
  
The next night Marie visited the lab for an hour before going back to Grissom's and then onto visiting some friends that lived nearby. Catherine noticed the tension in the lab if no one else did. Although they talked about previous open case for less than five minutes, she could see Grissom trying to avoid Sara the best he could. She could also see that Sara had given up trying. That surprised her more than anything else did.  
  
"If you keep this up, she won't be coming to dinner." Marie told her son.  
  
Grissom stared at her completely oblivious to what his mother was saying. "I don't understand."  
  
Narrowing her eyes at him, she signed. 'I thought you wanted to see what you and Sara had?'  
  
Grissom sighed and looked down briefly. 'It's not that easy.'  
  
Marie groaned in frustration. 'What is it? You were talking fine the other day and now you won't talk to her.'  
  
"I talk to her." He protested.  
  
"Not about work Gil. She's a human being who loves her job, but she wants to know you. on a personal level." Marie expressed, trying to drill the information into her son's head.  
  
Grissom stared at her. "I know she's human. I know she wants to know me on a personal level, but." He trailed off and dropped his eyes.  
  
"But?" Marie pressed gently.  
  
"I already let her down." He mumbled mournfully.  
  
Marie watched him and nodded. When he looked up she signed. 'What happened?'  
  
His eyes wondered the room shortly, before landing on his mother. 'She asked me to dinner before my surgery.'  
  
Marie nodded sympathetically and reached out to squeeze his hand. "And you said no?"  
  
He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I'm a bloody fool and now she's stopped altogether."  
  
"Stopped?" She asked. "I don't understand."  
  
Grissom started to explain with his hands about the years of flirting and laughter, cases and breakfasts with the team and then it all went down hill when he told her in not many words that she deserved a life outside work. Then he would say or do something that would make her smile and the flirting would continue, but over the last year, he's pushed her away so hard and so much, that's he's hurt her and she's given up on him altogether.  
  
He told her about the explosion and how he felt when he saw her sitting on the curb all alone and looking lost with a gash on her hand. Marie took in everything and started to understand what was going on. She wondered if he was aware of it or that he was still denying what he felt for Sara.  
  
'You have to tell her.' Marie signed.  
  
Grissom shook his head. 'I can't. She might listen, but what if she doesn't feel that same way?'  
  
Marie smiled gently. 'I think she does, but you need to tell her to know what happens next.' Sara's words echoed in his head. - Let's see what happens. - By the time you figure it out, it really could be too late. - 


	4. Chapter 4

Nick was lifting prints from a banister while Sara was photographing evidence before collecting and bagging it. Nick looked up as he lifted another print. "What time is the dinner, Sara?" He asked, turning back to the banister and then the wall.  
  
Sara didn't look up. She was too distracted with what she was doing. "Huh?"  
  
Nick turned on his haunches. "The dinner, what time?"  
  
Turning her head slightly, she looked at no focal point in thought, and then turned confused eyes on Nick. "What dinner?"  
  
Kneeling on the floor, he bent and retrieved a footprint. "The dinner. You know, at Grissom's."  
  
Sara was still distracted or she just didn't want to know, but she looked at him as she packed the evidence away. "I have no clue Nicky." She answered slowly, evident of someone having no understanding of what he was talking about. Nick watched her stand and walk towards another part of the room to photograph and collect. He narrowed his eyes and could swear she was actually telling the truth.  
  
Catherine stared at Nick with her hands on her hips. She closed her mouth and shook her head. "I don't believe you." She said defiantly.  
  
Nick sighed and looked around them to make sure no one was in hearing distance. "I'm telling you, she honestly had no idea what I was talking about." His voice was hushed as he leaned slightly into Catherine.  
  
Closing her eyes briefly, she shook her head. "We'll I know Marie asked Sara what she thought of the idea."  
  
"Yeah, but didn't she suggest you were the best person to ask?" Nick asked, turning and moving around her as they started to walk towards the break room.  
  
Catherine thought for a second and nodded. "She must have thought that it was still just an idea and nothing was settled."  
  
"Or Griss doesn't actually want her to come." Nick added with a feeling of anger.  
  
Walking into the quiet room, they sat down at the table. Catherine sighed and pushed her hair from her face. "I think there's more to it than that Nicky."  
  
Warrick zipped up his coat as he walked towards his car after shift ended. It was still dark, but the cold hadn't lifted and left a slight chill in the air. As he opened his car, he saw Sara leave the lab and head towards her car. "Hey Sara."  
  
Sara looked up and smiled. "Hey War. You off home?"  
  
"Yeah." He chuckled and climbed into his car as he rolled the window down. "Hey?"  
  
Sara turned back to him, as she was about to unlock her car. "What's up?"  
  
Warrick shook his head. "Nothin, just wondering if you needed a lift tonight." He smiled as she blinked blankly at him. "Hey, it's ok. I forgot until this morning."  
  
Nodding in confusion, she turned to pull open her door. "I'll see you tonight Warrick." Sara was beyond confusion. What was everyone talking about? She didn't know about any dinner. Looking for a CD, she rolled her shoulders and forgot about it.  
  
Grissom stood, staring out the front window. His hands were stuffed into his pockets as he stood stiffly with his eyes fixed on the road. Catherine watched him from the kitchen and sensed he was thinking about something other than the gathering this evening. He looked at the pair conspiring in the kitchen and sighed as he turned to the door that was suddenly announcing the first of the team.  
  
Sara looked at her cell phone as it beeped. She instantly threw it onto the passenger seat and continued to drive home. She was actually going to turn up at the dinner, but then his face from the other month haunted her. She felt worse than she had ever felt, even when Grissom turned her dinner invitation down.  
  
The cell phone rang. Sara sighed and looked at it briefly. It was Catherine. Like she would ring her if it didn't involve work and they weren't working. Only one other reason and that was the dinner. She didn't really know about it until Nick and Warrick mention it. An idea to reality was pretty quick. She didn't think Grissom would have gone for it.  
  
She pulled up to her apartment and parked. She was tired and felt emotionally drained. Her heart was aching and her head was beginning to thump. Sitting in her car for a few more minutes, she stared at the steering wheel logo and sighed. She really didn't know what to do anymore. She got out of her car and headed up to her apartment.  
  
If her boss wanted to keep everything professional with her and be friends with the others, then she will just have to learn to live with it. She wasn't going to leave anymore. She had grown to love living in Vegas and she now knew a few people, although she never went out. The extent of her personal life was pushed down to leaving work and heading home. She might stop at the store and then she would head home and sleep, eat and just keep everything simple so she could be ready for the complicated life.  
  
She stared at the clock now as she lay on the couch. The lights were off and she didn't feel like going to bed. She just kept her eyes on the green glow of the VCR and watched the time pass. She may have fallen asleep but she didn't notice. The time soon drifted by from half an hour to two hours and then most the night was gone. She pulled a cushion closer as she closed her eyes and cleared her head of everything. She lay in her black jeans, dark blue blouse, black fleece jacket and only her socks as she slept into the early hours of the morning.  
  
When she woke up, she felt strangely alone, more than she had ever felt before.  
  
Marie looked across the room at her son. He was sitting on the couch, leaning with his back against the arm and his knees close to his chest. She left him alone. Grissom looked at his sock covered toes and sighed. He had his chance and the opportunity to say everything, tell her everything, but he didn't. She didn't come. He didn't invite her; he didn't mention it to her. Does that mean she doesn't feel the same way? Does it mean that she does and is waiting for him? What if she was waiting, why wasn't he with her right now?  
  
Had he really pushed her away so much that she knows and is willing to back away if he said so? Why would she give up if she still felt something for him? He closed his eyes and leaned his chin against his knees. She hasn't flirted with him in so long. She's respected his professional attitude to everything personally that she has thrown at him. He didn't notice at first, but once he sensed her feelings for him, he backed away and left her in the open to deal with it alone. He's hurt her so many times and he's done nothing to take any of it back.  
  
Grissom didn't know what to do anymore. Would he really risk ruining something that could be great and losing the friendship of someone special? He didn't know anymore, he was lost. He'd never felt so alone in his life. It surpassed everything.  
  
Sara lazily showered and dressed. She decided that she didn't want to be at home all day by herself. As she walked through the park close to her home, she watched the young children on the swings and slides and their parents watching them from the benches or the grass.  
  
She needed to face it now more than ever that she would never be able to have a normal life. Her life was never normal so she didn't really have much of an adjustment to make. Maybe she should have gotten this all out of the way a long time ago and maybe she would have noticed that whatever feelings were there, were just not strong enough or none existent.  
  
She walked through the park for an hour and stopped to buy a coffee on her way past a coffee shop. She headed home to sleep before it was time for work and to gain enough strength to show no crack in her heart or soul. She would push herself into her work and just get along like he wants. To make him happy, she might as well be the thorn in his side and avoid anything remotely personal so she doesn't have to see the conflicted and confused look in his eyes again. 


	5. Chapter 5

Sara looked up from the body when she noticed a blue Tahoe pull up next to hers. She motioned for the body to be taken. As she stood, she saw Grissom walking towards her. She inwardly told herself to just go with whatever he wanted.  
  
"Do you want to see the car now Sara?" John asked.  
  
Sara turned to the young police officer and nodded. She picked up her case and camera to follow John a few feet across the gas station. "Why don't you check with Steve on the owners statement John."  
  
"Will do, just call if you need me." John smiled and walked away.  
  
Grissom stood by the car as Sara photographed it. "I was wondering if you needed any help." He asked, looking around him.  
  
Sara looked up and nodded. "Sure."  
  
They worked side by side while they processed the car. The lights of the station illuminated the car and Sara found some blood on the seat. There was also a gun in the foot well of the passenger side. Grissom collected fibres and hairs while Sara lifted prints and did the overall on the outside of the car.  
  
"I'll need to take it back to the lab and find that stray bullet, but I think that's it." Sara announced as she stepped back and looked at the side of the car and mentally logged the scrapes down the doors.  
  
Grissom looked over at the gas station store and noticed the police officers still talking to the owner. Sara turned to see what he was looking at. "They're getting the camera footage." She pointed to the two cameras above them. "And statements." She shrugged and closed her kit.  
  
John and Steve gave wide smiles as they walked towards them. "Hey, Sara. I got the footage you wanted." Steve held out the box of tapes and John handed her the statement sheet.  
  
"Too easy, but here you go. You need us to stick around?" John asked.  
  
Sara looked at Grissom to see him walking towards his car. "No. I'm alright. See you later guys."  
  
Steve nodded. "No problem Sara. Catch you later." John followed his partner and headed towards their patrol car.  
  
Grissom turned as he got to his car door. Sara started to walk towards her car. She put the box in the passenger seat and statement in her case. She looked over the hood of her car to see Grissom watching her. He turned away, telling her he'd be at Catherine's crime scene if she needed him.  
  
It was going to be a long shift, Sara decided. She worked the case alone, just as it was at the beginning. She didn't blame him anymore for what ever was going on. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way, she should have figured that out herself from the beginning, nothing more than friends and she destroyed that. She should never have said anything or flirted with him. He looked at it as a game and she should have allowed it to stay like that, just the way he wanted.  
  
Maybe they could find high ground and be friends again, but until that time, she could see plenty of mistrust and anger. Why was he always the one to use their friendship against them? He would use the same question, (Do you trust me?) and she would be on the spot and the only answer she could possibly give was, (Yes) because she did. Why couldn't she ask him that?  
  
He managed to work the shift in his office and surrounding labs in silence. His head was still trying to figure out what was going on. He was confused and upset. All he needed was to go home and sleep. He needed to clear his head and think about what he was going to do.  
  
When Grissom got home, he ate breakfast with his mother and they talked for a while. After Marie was out of the house to visit Catherine and have lunch at a nice place off the strip, Grissom took his time in the shower. He was tired of the distance and pain that he was causing. It was his fault for leaving this so long. He should have asked her out and gone from there, but instead, he waited and when she asked him out. it couldn't have been the worse timing.  
  
As he turned the water off, he had a sudden thought that she might leave or quit. She tried once before.  
  
Sara was busy reading her case file with the results she picked up from Bobby and Greg when she first got to the lab that night. She wasn't too surprised to find GSR on the body as he was shot, but she still didn't have much to go on. Bobby couldn't match the bullet with the gun found in the vics car. She was starting to get agitated and tense when she kept reading. Greg found epithelial's on the vics coat, but no match. A strange substance was detected and gave inconclusive DNA results.  
  
Grissom appeared behind her and was looking at the report Sara was reading and sighed. "Did Greg check the whole jacket?" Sara nodded mutely as she flipped the page to the autopsy results. "Check with Greg."  
  
"I checked already." She sighed and pulled out a second set of results. "Same."  
  
"What about the substance?" He asked, seeing something in the epithelial's that shouldn't be there.  
  
Sara flipped through the file and stopped at the back. "I'll get Greg to run it again."  
  
"Ok." He watched her stand and walk away.  
  
Catherine walked through the lab quickly. She looked through the glass walls in search of one person. After talking to Nick and Warrick, they had decided to get together at Warrick's after Marie left for her flight.  
  
"Don't take too long Greg. I need those." Sara's voice was heard and in a matter of seconds, her body came into view and Catherine was rushing to catch up.  
  
"Hey Sara, wait up." She called, getting Sara's attention.  
  
"How can I help Catherine?" Sara asked, both falling in step.  
  
Catherine tried to slow the pace and catch her breath. "All the guys are having a few drinks tomorrow night. You up for it?" Sara glanced at her before turning off to enter the break room. Catherine could see a negative response already. "Oh come on. It's just me and the guys, a few beers and a pizza."  
  
Sara sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry Catherine, no can do."  
  
"Well, if you change your mind, we'll be at Warrick's." Catherine turned and left.  
  
Grissom looked up from his pager as he walked from reception. 'Do something or I will. C' He frowned at the message and instantly knew what it was about. He practically had the same words forced at him from his mother.  
  
Sara looked up when Grissom walked pass the doorway, staring at his pager with a frown. She turned back to her research when he stopped just shy of the door and looked around him. He must be looking for someone. She guessed as much when he turned on his heel and entered the lab she was working in.  
  
After a short period of silence, she glanced over the monitor to see what was going on. She saw him standing, looking down at her. "Something wrong Grissom?" She asked, puzzled as to why he was towered over her and not speaking.  
  
He turned his head to check the corridor before turning back and opening his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by his cell phone. He stared at Sara long and hard before reaching into his jacket pocket. He looked back at her briefly and then turned away and left the room. Sara didn't know what to do or to think after that encounter.  
  
Grissom flipped open his phone when he was further away from Sara's lab. "Thank you Catherine, I've just made a fool of myself trying to do what you and my mother are pressuring me to do. If you would stop harassing me, I might actually do something." He slammed the phone shut and roughly pushed it into his pocket. 


	6. Chapter 6

Sara's stomach knotted when she received a message from Marie. The receptionist had told her that a lady came in and handed her the note herself before leaving. It was strange in a way, but correct in others. Marie couldn't phone the receptionist to leave a message and probably had things to do and was passing. Anyway, at this time in the morning, just after shift ended, she was standing at Grissom's front door, hoping he wasn't in and that this wasn't some kind of stitch up.  
  
Marie let her in and they chatted over coffee briefly. Sara talked about her sign language and even tried using some to communicate. Marie helped perfect some signs and soon the tension lifted slightly. After an hour or so, Sara asked why she was here and Marie explained that she had a few questions about Grissom and that the best person to ask was Sara.  
  
"Why would you ask me? I doubt I can help." Sara looked down when she finished speaking.  
  
"I'm guessing you know more about my son than his best friend. Gil puts up a wall to protect himself. I'm sure you've all noticed that." Marie smiled when Sara nodded and let a small semblance of a smile appear. "I have this feeling that you want to know him. outside work."  
  
Sara shook her head slowly and looked down at her coffee cup, clasped in her hands.  
  
Marie watched her closely. Thinking this was the perfect time to just come out with it, she sat up slightly and said softly. "Are you in love with my son?"  
  
Sara's eyes grew huge when her head snapped up. She broke eye contact and immediately stood. She walked over to the breakfast bar and placed her cup down. Marie watched her reaction and nodded with a small smile. "I thought so."  
  
Sara turned to her and lightly brushed her eyes with the back of her hand. "I don't know where you got that idea."  
  
"You and Gil gave me that impression the first time I saw you in the same room together." Marie chuckled and stood to walk towards Sara. She was looking uncomfortable and trapped. "Don't worry. I won't say anything."  
  
"You don't need to. Grissom doesn't feel that way, whatever you might think. no offence." Sara stubbornly replied.  
  
Marie sighed and took Sara's hands in both hers. "I know my son and I know he's been a pain, but he's got a good heart and is only trying to do what's best."  
  
Nodding her head, Sara squeezed Marie's hands. "I should be going."  
  
"Ok. Gil will be home soon. You could stay for breakfast and you could talk." Marie suggested, walking Sara to the door.  
  
Sara turned when she opened the door. 'A conversation requires Grissom to actually talk.' She smiled sadly and headed for her car.  
  
Sara walked towards the small housing complex car park. She looked up and came face to face with Grissom. He stepped back in surprise. "Erm. hi." He stuttered.  
  
"Hey." Sara said softly. She sensed his wall being pushed up and knew she should leave quickly. "I'm just going. I just...uh. your mother wanted to talk to me." She said, trying to explain why she was standing by his house.  
  
Grissom looked at the ground. Sara sighed and looked towards her car. "I understand Grissom. I realise you don't want to go out to dinner or anything like that, so. just forget I asked you out. This tension is starting to get creepy." She took a step back as she saw the look of confusion cross his eyes as he glanced at her.  
  
She nodded and looked around her. "Ok." She swallowed hard and shrugged. "I'll see you at work." She turned and started to walk around him.  
  
Grissom took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
Sara turned and watched in silence as he hesitantly walked a few steps towards her. She looked away and waited.  
  
"Why did you learn to sign?" He asked as he still kept his eyes on the ground.  
  
Sara closed her eyes briefly before looking at the cloudy sky. She inhaled slowly as she struggled to get the words out. "I figured it would be useful to learn."  
  
Grissom nodded. "Any other reason?"  
  
She turned slightly towards him and glanced at his bowed head. She started to walk a few steps away. "Maybe."  
  
Grissom's hand reached out and grasped her arm as he looked up. He waited for her to look at him, but she wouldn't. His fingers were burning from just the single touch and briefly wondered what would happen if he held her, kissed her, held her hand in his. He dropped his hand from her arm and was momentarily glad that she didn't move away.  
  
"Can I ask you something else?"  
  
Sara turned her head and looked over his shoulder. "Do I have to answer?"  
  
Grissom smirked and looked down. "No, but. I'd like you too." She smiled faintly and looked at his eyes, then looked away. The few cars that drove by filled silence. Sara shifted on her feet and turned to face him. Grissom stepped closer and noticed he was only a few inches from her. There was still a gap between them, but he couldn't help but get a little closer without touching her.  
  
Sara noticed this and dropped her head to look at her hands. "What are you doing Grissom?" She asked quietly.  
  
He slowly covered her hand with his and lightly held it. Sara watched his thumb rub against her skin, but she chose to ignore it the best she could. She tried to pull her hand away, but his fingers wrapped around hers firmly. She breathed out heavily and looked at him. "You really are making me angry." She warned, trying to give him a chance to step away.  
  
"Why am I making you angry?" He asked with his deep voice, making her heart beat faster.  
  
Sara shook her head and managed to pull her hand away. "You think of this as a game, but it's not. not anymore." She told him seriously.  
  
Grissom closed his eyes briefly. "Maybe it was a game at first." He confessed.  
  
"It's never been a game for me." She revealed.  
  
"I know." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what you want to hear."  
  
Sara nodded with her feet carrying her backwards. "I don't want to hear anything anymore. It's been up to you for too long."  
  
Grissom watched her walk away and then she turned to him and even with the distance, she still kept her voice quiet. "I will respect you either way Grissom. You decide if you really want to continue this distance between us or you tell me what you want. I'll forget ever trying to find out how you feel and you forget what a fool I've been making of myself since I met you. Either way, I will leave it alone. and you." Her voice was wavering and cracked slightly at the end as she got into her car and left him standing there with his hands in his pockets and his trademark, free of emotion mask.  
  
Grissom turned and looked up at the sky. The colour drained from his face as he started walking towards his house. A headache was approaching and the heat wasn't helping. Before he turned the corner, he looked back at the car park and saw Sara's car pull onto the road and drive away.  
  
Marie saw the door open from her seat on the couch. She was reading a book and waiting for her son to get home and when she saw him, she knew he'd just seen Sara.  
  
Grissom entered the living room and walked toward his mother. 'Mother.' He started. 'I'm at a loss. I really am. I just saw Sara and.' He sighed and rubbed his face warily.  
  
She reached out and touched his hand to get his attention She placed her book on the coffee table before sitting back. 'I think you should sort this out soon Gil.' Grissom's eyes widened. 'I want to you talk to her. I've heard so much about her for years and was hoping you had settled down.'  
  
'It's so hard.' He complained.  
  
'She's so much like you.' Marie smiled. 'You need to pull away from work and talk to her outside the lab. Go to her and find out what she really wants from you.'  
  
Grissom nodded. 'She's very stubborn.'  
  
Marie chuckled. 'Much like you.' Grissom sighed at her in response. 'We talked about a few things when she was here a few moments ago.' She began. 'I found my answers to my questions.' Marie shared.  
  
'What questions?'  
  
"I know you aren't one for trusting your feelings or following your heart, but I think you have to in this case." Marie talked over Grissom's signing, causing him to stop and listen.  
  
'How am I supposed to tell her when I can't even talk to her without angering or upsetting her?' He hurriedly signed.  
  
Marie smiled. 'Do something she doesn't expect. She's seen you run away and now she's waiting for something that she knows you won't give into. She knows you better than you think.' Grissom rubbed his face and leaned forward with a frustrated groan. 


	7. Chapter 7

"Sara." Grissom walked around the car to follow her towards the lab. She turned her head to indicate she heard him, but didn't stop. "I'm sorry about this morning."  
  
"Nothing to be sorry about really. I shouldn't have opened my mouth." She said like it didn't bother her. "No harm done." She added as she turned to him.  
  
He stopped. "I thought that there was plenty of harm done." He stated, turning his head to look at her after he glanced around them. "And I think I'm the one who was doing all the harm."  
  
Sara sighed. "You think too much."  
  
Grissom thought for a second before saying. "I do think too much." He agreed. "But, if I stopped thinking and started acting, then."  
  
"You wouldn't be you Grissom." She breathed. "Can. can we just forget this?" She pleaded. He shook his head. Sara closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. "You want to continue this distance?" She asked after the silence settled.  
  
"No." He answered softly.  
  
Sara sighed and looked down at gravel. "You really want to talk about this, at work?" She asked incredulously.  
  
Grissom seemed to think this over as he looked at the lab doors and the car park. "Seemed like the place and the time." He confessed, turning back. After watching her for a full minute, he started speaking in a quiet voice so others couldn't hear. "I'm going to ask you something and then I want you to answer me honestly." Not waiting for a response, he continued. "Do you have feelings for me?"  
  
Sara didn't take her eyes from him. "You know what I feel Grissom."  
  
With a frustrated groan, he shook his head and took a few steps towards her. With only a foot between them, he could see her lip-gloss. "Answer me please." He pleaded on a whisper.  
  
"Yes." She answered with no delay. Grissom looked into her eyes with a blank expression. Sara closed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't!" She demanded. "Don't look at me with nothing Grissom. Show me at least some emotion, not the emptiness I see now." She stressed as she looked back up at him.  
  
"What difference does it make?" He asked throatily.  
  
Sara was getting angry now and he knew it. He was getting her to expose herself and he was showing nothing. "Why don't you show me something Griss?" She was near tears, but wasn't going to let him see them. She had managed to keep them buried for days now. "I'm here, alone with you. and you are still avoiding me."  
  
"I'm right here Sara. Does it really look like I'm avoiding you?"  
  
She bit her lip and nodded. "I just told you I have feelings for you because you asked me to clarify it for you and you gave me nothing, absolutely nothing in return." Her voice was raising now as she tried to make sense of what was happening.  
  
Grissom's eyes seemed to darken as he looked down. His heart was pounding in his chest and his throat felt constricted. He needed to do something. Sara stepped towards him and touched his face. He didn't look up at the contact. Her hand held his cheek as she made him look at her. "You need to show me something Grissom or this will forever eat away at us." She whispered.  
  
He closed his eyes as she made him look at her and Sara's tears fell without her consent. He wasn't going to look at her. She stepped closer and now their clothes were touching. Leaning in with determination, she watched Grissom's eyes open slowly. He watched as her eyes closed. He felt her other hand on his face as she brushed her lips across his. His heart nearly exploded with the chaste kiss.  
  
Sara pulled away slowly and avoided his eyes that were beginning to open. Her hands dropped to her sides as she stepped away. "I'm sorry." She whispered brokenly. Grissom let her put more distance between them. She turned away and wiped the tears from her face. "I should have just left it alone."  
  
"Then neither of us would have known." He said roughly.  
  
She looked at him with pained eyes. "Known what Grissom?" She asked. "Known what? That I was stupid to even try and find out what it would be like to actually care for someone?" She took a shaky breath. "That I should have never trusted my heart with anyone?" She shook her head and walked away from the lab. "THAT'S too late Grissom, not THIS."  
  
Catherine knew by his lack of concentration that he'd spoken to Sara recently. He'd just missed a blood droplet on the table as he past by it without a first glance. She processed the scene in his footsteps to make sue he didn't miss anything else and was glad to see that the blood was the only piece of evidence that he missed. Even one mistake was not Grissom.  
  
"You ok Gil? You've been off all night?" She asked when the officer left the room and they were alone.  
  
Grissom sighed and looked up from his kneeling position. "I spoke to Sara before work and it went badly once again." He shook his head and grimaced. "I can't stop putting my foot in my mouth or the complete opposite, not saying anything."  
  
She smiled at his thoughtful look and confusion. "I can see you're trying."  
  
He snorted. "Obviously not hard enough, I've been told."  
  
"Your mother's heading home tonight, correct?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Yeah. I'm driving her to the airport in the morning." He looked down at the carpet and lifted a footprint.  
  
Catherine leaned against the wall and watched him before asking. "Can I ask you what you talked about this evening to upset Sara?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "You can and the answer would be mine to know and I probably should talk to her again." He winced when he stood and looked around the room as he absently added. "Since she kissed me an all." He turned his head to Catherine and shrugged. "Getting somewhere I guess." Catherine smiled at her friend. At least progress was being made, even though at a snails pace.  
  
Marie looked at the flight board while Grissom checked with the flight desk. The flight to Las Angeles was running on time and she should be home in a matter of hours. Her friend was picking her up and they had plans to eat and catch up with news of her trip to Vegas.  
  
Grissom sat with his mother for ten minutes before he turned to her and confidently told her. 'I'm going to talk to Sara.'  
  
'When?' She smiled.  
  
He licked his lips and looked at his watch. 'As soon as your flight leaves I'll go and see her.'  
  
'You promise to sort this out today?' She signed eagerly.  
  
Grissom nodded and took her hand. "I want to sort it out. I want to tell her everything. I'm going to try mother, I promise." 


	8. Chapter 8

He stood on her doorstep with his entire stomach dragging behind him. He was nervous and hadn't a clue what he was going to say. He knew he needed to tell her everything. It wasn't only to get peace from Catherine and his mother, but he needed to do this for himself as well.  
  
Knocking lightly on the door, he checked his shirt and pants. He'd been to work, then the airport and now Sara's apartment without changing. He hoped he didn't smell too bad and that he looked less like he was crawling around a small flat all night.  
  
Sara opened the door and was highly surprised to see him standing there. She could see he hadn't been home or if he had, he hadn't changed out of his work clothes. "Can I come in?" He asked when he realised she definitely wasn't expecting him.  
  
Her eyes narrowed slightly at his work tone. She took a calming breath and leaned back inside the door to grasp her jacket and keys. "No." She delivered gently before closing and locking her door. "If we're gonna argue, then I don't want to feel like a prisoner in my own home." She explained and pushed past him.  
  
Grissom stared at the door with confusion and then concern. She didn't want to talk about this in private and she didn't trust him to talk with accusation. He sighed heavily and turned on his heel to follow her out of her apartment building. They walked down the street in the harsh morning sunlight. Both sported sunglasses and matching lead heavy steps.  
  
Sara snuck glances now and then, waiting and waiting for him to speak, but when he didn't, she sighed and stopped. Grissom continued a few steps until he realised he was alone. He turned and stayed where he was. They were standing just inside the areas local park. The grass glistened in the sun and the few people walked from one end to the other and the parks were quiet.  
  
So early in the morning left the park empty. Children were in school and the occupants were mostly made up of a few elderly walking their dogs and a couple sitting on a nearby bench. A man sat on the grass with a newspaper and a paper cup, which might be coffee. Sara started walking again when she looked Grissom in the eyes. She grasped his arm and pulled lightly to get him moving.  
  
A few feet away was the children's park; with swings, slide and a round-a- bout. Sara moved to sit on a swing as Grissom stood slightly in front of her. He dug his hands into his pockets and kicked at the asphalt. "I don't want to argue, Sara." He finally spoke. When his eyes finally lifted and found hers, he could have sworn she was upset, sad even.  
  
"I never wanted to argue in the first place." She admitted, releasing a sad sigh.  
  
He walked to the swing beside her and sat down. His hands held the chains, although he didn't move. "I'm.not good at this. Sara. I.I don't know what to do." His stammering was making himself angry and he attempted to swallow past the lump in his throat.  
  
"That's not true." She groaned, turning her head to look at him. He was looking straight at her with intense blue eyes. She looked away quickly, but found his eyes again. Her chest was crushing in on itself as she looked at him and tried to explain what he knew, but obviously refused to believe it. "You are capable of speaking to me, Grissom. You only start avoid speaking to me when 'you' notice that I might actually say something back that requires an honest straightforward answer, preferably within a few minutes before I get the feeling you're not going to say a thing."  
  
He sighed and nodded. "I'm trying Sara. I really am. It 'is' difficult and I don't know how to resolve this-" His head snapped up from his sudden bowed position, when Sara groaned and pushed away from the swing.  
  
"THIS, is not some case Grissom!" She took an angry breath and pushed her hair back. "I cannot believe you. I'm trying not to force you. I trying not to throw myself at you and make an even more of a fool of myself and all I get from you in return is, 'I don't know what to do about this' 'I don't know how to resolve this.'" Sara shook her head and turned back to him. "What do you want from me Grissom?" She asked calmly, but shakily. "I can't give you anything else. My objective was to find out what you feel and stupid me, I thought that I'd actually achieve that, but look." She laughed sarcastically. "It's taken three years for you to even attempt to figure THIS out and you want ME to give in so easily. That's not gonna happen. Maybe yesterday when I was chasing you, but not today and not now. I'm done. I can't keep chasing you and hoping I'll get something for all the heartache. I've got nothing left."  
  
Grissom watched as tears started to roll down her cheeks. He felt extremely guilty and he knew he deserved to feel this way, but he didn't want to leave now and forget the last few years of flirting and special moments between them. He wanted more of that and he wanted it more than anything. He needed to tell her, he needed to open up. He's let her stand alone in this relationship for too long already.  
  
With deliberate slow movements, he stood and walked towards her. Sara looked down when he started towards her and tried to turn away, but Grissom's hand stopped her. He lightly held her folded arms and tried to control his rapid heartbeat as he stepped closer and pulled her arms away from her stomach. Sara's arms fell to her sides, but still stayed in his grasp.  
  
"I am truly sorry Sara." He closed his eyes briefly and looked at her dark hair. "I know that doesn't give me any right to ask things of you." His voice was soft, softer than she'd ever heard come from him. "If it was in my power," He paused and slid his left hand up her arm and gently pushed her hair back. "I would take the years away and start again, but I can't." He stressed on a frustrated breath. "And please believe me when I say, I'd do that in a second if I could." Grissom didn't know what else to say. He knew he had to tell her everything, but he was still so scared of her reaction. He could lose her completely if she knew the secret he'd been hiding from her.  
  
Sara had her eyes closed and registered everything. She could feel his body so close and his hands on her arms and his warmth seeping into her very soul. She could feel his light breathes on her hair and heard everything he said, including the emotions behind them. She didn't know what to do anymore. She was stuck. He was here and trying his best to open up, but she couldn't let him in so easily. He didn't have to live with the torture of loving someone and trying to act like that person was nothing but an employee for years and to hold her emotions so tight, it was eating away at her.  
  
Grissom felt her slipping away from him and his heart screamed out to do something. This time, he did something. "I. like you Sara." Her head rose slowly at his words and he saw she was just as confused. He bit his lower lip and closed his eyes as his hands moved up her arms slowly. When he opened his eyes, he looked straight into her dark brown orbs. "I care about you." He took a deep breath through his nose and let it out the same way. "I don't want to lose you."  
  
His hands pushed over her shoulders to rest on her neck. Sara continued to share his personal space, even more so when he made the final step towards her and hesitantly leaned into her. Her eyes closed as he brushed his lips across hers. She sniffled lightly and returned the kiss. Grissom gently slipped his fingers into her silky hair when he felt her hands move to grasp his shirt. He brushed his lips against hers once more before pulling her against him and holding her in a nervous embrace.  
  
"Please Sara." He pleaded in a half whisper. Sara's eyes fluttered open as she heard him. She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and held him tighter. Grissom seemed to relax a little. "Let me prove that I." He turned his face into her neck and buried his encroaching tears into her hair.  
  
Hearing the catch in his voice, she raised her hand to his hair and lightly ran her fingers over the skin of his neck above his collar. Her heart exploded at his words. She had waited so long to hear them and now, here he was, saying them and she was struggling to hold herself together. She needed to make it clear to him that he couldn't continue to hurt her. She was having a hard enough time not telling him everything, the anger and the love.  
  
Feeling hot wet tears soak her skin, she realised he was crying. "Oh God Grissom, don't do this, please." She whispered hoarsely. She couldn't keep this wall he built for her, up much longer. His body was shaking as more tears fell. There had to be more than just wanting to bring up their relationship to make him break down, but what could it be?  
  
Grissom pulled in a ragged breath to calm himself, but it didn't work. He groaned to himself and pulled back to cup her face. He saw tears flowing down her cheeks and she could see his own tears following the same path that gravity gave. His thumbs brushed the wetness from her skin as he looked deeply into her eyes.  
  
Sara knew that any emotion from this man was beyond difficult, but tears, that was something not Grissom and it scared her to think what else there was that he had been holding onto for so long. She now wished she could speak to Marie more than anything, just to ask if there was anything bad happening that would make him so upset.  
  
Her hand on his shoulder, moved up to his face. She watched as his eyes closed at her light touch. His breathing was settling as she lowered her hand to rest on his chest. "Talk to me." She pleaded quietly.  
  
Grissom's eyes opened slowly to meet hers. He nodded and reached for her hand. "Let's please go back to yours Sara. I can't talk out here."  
  
She took a deep breath and watched as his eyes showed his panic. Squeezing his hand tightly, she turned and tugged lightly until he was following her. Grissom changed his hold on her hand to entwine their fingers. "Will you promise to talk to me Grissom? Once we're alone?" She asked as he stared at the grass.  
  
He sighed and clasped his other hand around hers. "I'm not leaving until. you kick me out, Sara." He promised and after a few minutes, he raised their hands and placed a light kiss on the back of her hand. "I'm not going to leave this alone anymore." She looked at him with a small sad smile, but nodded.  
  
A/N: Not much longer to go readers. Glad to hear that you're enjoying this fic. It's taking me a while to get the right mood and all. Also, to answer a query. I heard that Grissom's mother went deaf. She can speak and sign. I just hope I didn't over do it. I've only known a few 'children' really that can do both. I'm only thinking that Grissom's mother is someone much like Grissom, only she's more social and willing to express herself. No translator, because she's experienced and she knows what she's doing, unlike me. LOL. Any way, if that made any sense, I'm off to finish this. 


	9. Chapter 9

Grissom hesitated when he went to speak, but lost the nerve. He looked down at the floor and sighed. They had entered Sara's apartment in silence and that was twenty minutes ago. She sat on the couch with a cup of coffee cradled between her hands, watching him from one minute to the next. She noticed each time he tried to talk and each time, he failed to do so. Trying to be as patient as possible, she returned to looking into her coffee, as though she could somehow find the answers to her problems.  
  
Biting his bottom lip, he sighed. Nodding his head in silent agreement, he moved to sit in front of her. He sat on the coffee table and took the cup from her hands. Sara watched him with confusion as he turned back to her and took her hands in his. He smiled slightly and squeezed them. "I. I'm sorry this is taking so long. I wish I could just come out and say it." He cringed and looked down at their hands.  
  
"You could just say it, you know?" Sara urged him, feeling that they were going to be here all day, although that didn't sound like a bad thing.  
  
He nodded and scooted forward slightly. "I'm not sure how you'll react." He started, glancing up briefly. "It's not easy for me Sara-"  
  
"I know that Griss. I do, but it's scaring me." She interrupted with deep concern lacing her words. Grissom's head snapped up in shock. Sara continued as she pulled one hand free to cup his cheek, the tips of her fingers lightly caressing his skin. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, or the last year or so, but it's gotten me so worried and every time I've tried to ask you, you've brushed me off." She paused and closed her eyes, only to look at her hand when she opened them.  
  
Grissom closed his eyes in silent surrender. Her light touch was what he'd only dreamed about and now she was touching him, but it only deepened his fears of her rejection. He covered her hand and pressed it to his face. His eyes locked with hers as he took a deep breath and prepared himself to just out with it. "I." His mouth twitched with the intense emotions that were held within him. "I had surgery. a few months back." He finally breathed out. His eyes watched as hers widened with concern.  
  
"Why? What was wrong? Are you ok now?" She questioned in quick succession. She shifted forward until her knees were positioned either side of his. She released his hand and placed it on his knee. He still held her other hand against his cheek as he stared at her with fear in his eyes.  
  
"I'm fine. now. I. erm. I had Otosclerosis.But, the surgery fixed it." He cleared his throat and pulled her hand away, in case she was going to retreat from him. His eyes dropped from hers. "I suffered hearing problems for the most part of last year, but. I."  
  
Sara nodded and looked down at her hand that was rubbing against his knee lightly. "You're ok now, right?" She asked quietly.  
  
He breathed in deeply and held her hand tightly. "Yes."  
  
She started biting her lower lip in thought before finding his eyes and asking. "Is that why you were avoiding me?" Grissom nodded slowly. She sighed and shook her head. "Why?"  
  
Grissom stared at her with confusion. Looking over her shoulder as he thought about this, he narrowed his eyes. Why? Thinking about her question, he couldn't seem to think of anything. There must have been reasons at some point, but they all seemed moot. Focusing back on her face, he breathed lightly out his nose and said the only thing he could think of. "I'm a private man."  
  
Sara started biting the inside of her lip to suppress the smile, but failed. She dropped her head and laughed quietly. "Griss?"  
  
He didn't know what was going on, but he answered. "Yeah?"  
  
"You put me through hell and the only reason you have, is that you are a private person?" Although it sounded slightly funny in her head, it suddenly struck her that he didn't trust her. personally.  
  
She met his eyes and he knew instantly what she was thinking. "Don't think that Sara."  
  
"Think what? You don't trust me." She found her voice hardened as she spoke.  
  
Grissom shook his head and squeezed her hands. "That's not true. I do trust you." He was breathing heavily now. He couldn't think of anything else that he needed to tell her. She gave an unexpected reaction to his biggest secret, but. He stopped at that thought and looked at her with clear blue eyes.  
  
Sara saw this and it seemed like something just hit, like a light bulb going on in his head. "What?" She asked quietly.  
  
He didn't take his eyes from hers as he moved to sit beside her on the couch. Sara followed him with her body and continued to watch his eyes, as several emotions seemed to show.  
  
"I love you." He whispered, shocked at his own admission.  
  
Sara's mouth opened in surprise. "Huh?" She didn't completely register what he just said, but it sounded something like-  
  
"I. I love you." He repeated. Grissom's eyes closed and wondered why he didn't realise sooner. He looked at her and noticed that she seemed frozen. Taking a shaky breath, he leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly over hers. He pulled back and watched as her eyes opened. She was still in shock and before she could say of do anything, he very hesitantly pulled her closer. Sara's hand reached up as she moved towards him and watched her fingers lightly brush against his cheek before laying her whole palm against his face. She could feel him trembling against her lips as he kissed her again.  
  
Grissom broke the kiss and pulled her into his arms. He pressed his cheek against hers before turning his head slightly to softly kiss her cheek. "I love you Sara." He told her again.  
  
"I love you too Griss." She whispered, pulling him tighter to her. She didn't realise what he said when he first said it. She thought it was something to avoid the subject, but she realised what he said when she looked into his eyes and noticed he wasn't changing the subject, but rather, giving her another reason, a reason that surpassed the first. "How can you be afraid of me?" She asked.  
  
He gently ran his hands up her back, then down again. "I'm afraid of a lot of things and you're just one of the bigger ones." He paused and pressed a kiss into her neck. "I can't change who I am Sara." He breathed into her ear. Pulling his head back to look into her eyes, he reached up and ran his fingers down her face. "I can only do this if we agree on leaving our personal lives at home." He knew she understood now, but he didn't know why she was still interested in pursuing a relationship with him.  
  
Sara stared back with her dark brown eyes. She covered his hand on her cheek and turned to place a single kiss on his palm. "I've been trying to tell you that for years." She watched him smile and close his eyes as she pushed her fingers through his hair. "I know you don't like mixing personal and work life together. I've known you too long to not know that. I love my work too, just like you." She smiled widely as he pulled her closer and watched his eyes travel over her face.  
  
"We need to talk more." He breathed in slowly before tipping his head forward to kiss her lightly. Sara agreed with a soft hum as he slowly reclined them on the couch, lost in the moment. After tangled explorations, a trail of clothes was left in the path of the bedroom. It seemed too early, but after an emotionally filled confession, it seemed like the only next step. They were planning on making this work and both couldn't think what to say next.  
  
Actions speak louder than words after all.  
  
Stepping out of the bathroom, Grissom walked down the hall and into the bedroom. "What are we going to do for the next few hours?" He asked as he buttoned his shirt. Sara thought for a few minutes while she stood in a large towel wrapped around her damp body. "Dinner?" He suggested and smiled as he watched her. He left his shirt half undone and walked around the bed to wrap his arms around her from behind.  
  
She turned in his arms and met him in a gentle kiss. "We still need to talk." She murmured.  
  
He moaned miserably and pulled back slightly. She smiled and began buttoning up the rest of his shirt. "Do you want to go out for dinner?" He asked as he watched her.  
  
She shrugged as she reached the last button. Smoothing her hands over his shirt, she sighed. "We do need to talk and I know you'd rather talk in private." She looked up into his eyes. They still had so much to discuss.  
  
"You're right." He nodded and leaned down to kiss her once more. "I'll cook." He murmured, but didn't let go.  
  
She buried her face in his neck as his arms snaked around her. The towel covering her body was beginning to fall, but he held it in place. "It's 8.30." He told her distractedly as they both turned to look at the clock on the nightstand.  
  
"You realise we've been in bed all day?" She asked, perplexed.  
  
He shrugged and pulled her closer. "Just think about what it's going to be like to not touch or kiss for hours."  
  
She smiled at him. "I better get dressed and you sort dinner out."  
  
"I'd rather take you back to bed than eat." He whispered seductively into her ear, sending anticipating chills down her spine.  
  
TBC  
  
[I think one last chapter should do it and maybe, just maybe, an epilogue, but we'll see. Hope you like it and that Sara didn't give in too easily.] 


	10. Chapter 10

Sara reached up and fingered some curls above his ear. They were sat at the table in her small dining area, eating the pasta and tomato with mushroom meal Grissom had cooked up. He was drinking some water when she had this urge to just reach out and touch him. Grissom glanced at her as he returned his glass to the table. "You could have told me, you know?" She said softly, her fingers still twisting small curls.  
  
He smiled hesitantly and reached up to take her hand. "I would have, but I didn't know how." He admitted as his fingers slid against hers to link them. "I wish I did a long time ago." His eyes were down cast and focused on their hands.  
  
While she watched him silently, she couldn't help but think about what was going to happen next, not just in life, but now and at work. She stared at his face for a long time before taking a sharp breath. "Griss?" He looked up and waited for her to speak. After a few quiet minutes, she continued. "If you don't want this, leave." It sounded harsh and abrupt, but she didn't think she could handle him leaving later or even ignoring her when it came to go to work.  
  
Grissom's eyes registered shock and hurt at her words, but as he looked deeply into her emotional and teary eyes, he seemed to understand. Turning in his chair that was beside hers, he stood. Sara's head lowered as she pulled her hand from his, but something was wrong, he wasn't letting go. "Sara." His voice was a whisper as he pulled her up to stand in front of him. Her eyes searched his carefully when he slowly wrapped his arms around her. "I love you and no matter what you think, I'm not leaving or missing another day that I could be spending with you." She caught his smile as he dropped his head to kiss her.  
  
Standing at the car door as she slammed it shut, she looked across to the other side with nervousness "I don't know Griss." She sighed and looked down at her feet. "I figured you'd run-"  
  
"Not gonna happen my dear." He chuckled as he walked around the car and took her hand. "Come on. I want to do some paperwork before shift officially starts."  
  
Taking a deep breath, she exhaled on a sigh. "Ok."  
  
Grissom pulled on her hand and once she started moving, he stepped closer and placed her hand on his hand as they walked along the path towards the front of the building that they would be working in until the sun rises the next morning. Leaning slightly into her body as they approached the steps, he whispered into her ear. "You ok?"  
  
Sara looked up from the ground and nodded. "Yeah." She smiled at him and quickly kissed his cheek before the first step came upon them. He smirked and blushed, making her laugh lightly at his reaction.  
  
The beginning of shift was busy. Catherine headed the 419 as she took control and gave instructions to Nick and Warrick. They worked together for hours at the crime scene and were still out when Sara came back from questioning the gas station manager. She had come to a wall for the moment on her single homicide. Without out the substance that was on the victim's shirt, anything further was still on hold. The chem/DNA lab was backlogged and whilst she was waiting, her killer was probably across the country by now.  
  
Grissom walked down the corridor towards the break room in search of a fresh cup of hot coffee. He looked in on Greg to see if he'd go through his evidence, but the young lab tech was still waiting for results and numerous cases were on hold. Advising him to hurry up on live cases, he turned and left to finish his retreat to the break room. Upon entering, he noticed the coffee machine brewing fresh coffee and a mug already waiting.  
  
"I get first cup." A voice teased from the corner of the room.  
  
"Whoever pours it, gets it." He teased back and stepped towards the machine as it beeped.  
  
"Uh uh." She walked quickly to cut him off before his hand reached the pot.  
  
"Sara." He smirked and dropped his hand. "I teasing." He assured.  
  
She grinned and raised her eyebrows. "I know that, but I still get first cup. Anyway, I'm needing a caffeine fix right now."  
  
Grissom nodded and smiled. "Ok. Greg should be analysing your substance now."  
  
"Great!" She exclaimed happily as she pulled another mug from the cupboard by her head. "I take it you want some." She asked as she poured coffee into both mugs. He chuckled and took the mug she handed to him. "Your welcome." She smiled and turned away.  
  
He watched her sit at the table where her case file was situation in two piles. He hadn't noticed it on his first scan of the room. Smiling to himself, he sat down opposite her. "What did the manager say?" He asked after he observed her going over her notes.  
  
Sighing heavily, she picked up her coffee and looked up at him. "He never say a thing. He did hear the gunshot, but not the commotion before hand."  
  
"What about the camera?"  
  
Pulling a large photo from the file to her left, she handed it to his with a disgusted snort. "Looks like Santa if you look at it upside down." She smiled and shook her head when he did that, he turned it and smirked, before looking at it properly. "The manager said he's never seen then guy in or outside. Apparently, he was serving a customer, but when I got there, no customer was present and again he 'didn't get a good look at him.' Funny, he was serving a guy for ten minutes and can't remember what they look like."  
  
Grissom adjusted his glasses and sat forward. "That's a number plate." He pointed at the corner of the photo.  
  
Sara nodded and pulled out an enlarged, clearer photo. "Archie got us a closer look, but the car was crushed an hour after the murder."  
  
Looking at her with a small grin, he sat back. "Very thorough." He praised.  
  
"Thanks." She smiled before frowning. "Still got nothing though."  
  
"Maybe the substance will give you a lead." Grissom suggested as moral support.  
  
Sara sat back and closed the file after pushing it all together. She drank her coffee in silence as she glanced at Grissom a few times. He was looking into his mug with a strange look on his face. "Something wrong Griss?" She asked when he looked at her.  
  
He nodded and leaned forward against the table. His mug still in his hands, he licked his lips and stared at hers. "This is much easier than I thought, you know?" He said as his eyes finally met hers.  
  
"Huh?" Thoroughly confused by his words, she leaned forward, mimicking his movements until there was only a foot between their faces. "What do you mean?" She asked a he continued to stare.  
  
Grissom shrugged. "I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to help myself if we worked together, but." He smiled and slipped his hand over hers. "It's hard, but it's easy too." He chuckled at his confused logic and shook his head. "What I meant was, that I would love to kiss you right now, but I. I remind myself about the time we have and see no need to rush things."  
  
Sara's eyes softened, as she understood. Looking down at his hand on hers, she smiled and turned her hand in his and squeezed it. "Me too." She whispered. 


	11. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Grissom pushed his door open and stepped aside to let Sara enter. While her back was to him, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. He kissed her neck playfully as she giggled and tried to push away. "Grissom!" She squeaked, looking over at him over her shoulder.  
  
He smiled and released her. They walked into the house a little more as he closed the door. "Good thing my mother's out, or she'd see this." He swung her round and crushed her body to his. His hands tucked into the back pockets of her jeans as he kissed her with heated passion.  
  
"We gotta stop." She breathed out between kisses. Grissom pulled her lower body closer to his, but pulled away quickly when he heard a knock at the door. Sara chuckled lightly at his flushed face and quickly straightened his shirt. "You better get that. I'll ring Brass."  
  
"Ok." He kissed her lips softly before pulling away completely and checking himself as he turned back to the door. Sara looked down at her own clothing and quickly tucked in her blouse and pushed her hair back into ponytail.  
  
Five minutes later, Grissom closed the door and appeared with a medium sized box. "My books arrived." He looked up and saw Sara sitting on the couch watching him. He smiled and placed the box on the coffee table before dropping onto the couch beside her. He leaned back against a cushion and felt uncomfortable for a moment. He fidgeted as he tried to pull a cushion out.  
  
Sara looked at him curiously as he tugged again at the cushion. "Want me to get that?" She offered, slipping her hand over his. He chuckled and leaned himself forward slightly as she pulled it out. "Big baby." She accused, tossing the cushion onto his lap.  
  
"Am not." He threw the cushion at her.  
  
Sara caught it and hit him with it. "Behave kid or I'll tell your mommy." She smiled wickedly.  
  
Grissom smiled and grabbed the cushion, but Sara wouldn't let go. They locked eyes and were ready to challenge each other at any moment. Just as Grissom was going to release his hold, Sara let the cushion go, causing his arm to pull back more than intended and hit the arm of the couch. He chuckled and moved to sit in the middle of the couch as Sara snuggled up next to him.  
  
"What did Brass say?" He asked as his fingers lightly ran up and down her arm.  
  
"He'll have the warrant by tonight." She yawned and sighed as she turned her head to rest against his chest. "What books came?" She asked tiredly.  
  
He leaned down and placed a kiss on her head before pulling away. "Hopefully, it's the latest forensic journal on comparisons to murders and cults from the 1800's." As he opened the box and looked over the books that were packed neatly, he smiled. "Hey, you're Australian DNA magazine's in here, you wanna read it?" Getting no response, he turned his head to see she was fast asleep. "Oh honey," He sighed and moved to pick her up. "Let's go to bed." He whispered to her as she wrapped her arm loosely around his neck.  
  
Marie opened the door quietly and checked her watch. She had been with Catherine for half the morning and went to lunch with an old friend. Thinking her son and Sara would be sleeping, she decided to make them something to eat. They would be up soon either way. She made her way to the kitchen, but noticed the books on the coffee table and smiled. After making fresh coffee and placing toast into the toaster, she sat down at the dining table with a tea and her own book.  
  
Sara padded from the bedroom in her bare feet and Grissom's shirt on. She had heard Marie come in an hour ago, but sleep was still on her mind. Grissom had stepped into the shower while she went in search of nutrition and caffeine. She lightly rubbed Marie's shoulder to alert her to her presence. 'Hey' Sara signed with a tired smile.  
  
Marie turned to see Grissom walking from the bathroom in his sweats and bare feet. 'Catherine asked if you could ring her about work tonight.' She informed when he looked at her.  
  
Grissom smiled and signed. 'Love you too mom and how was your morning?' He chuckled and followed Sara's route to the kitchen. He stood behind her and slipped his arms around her waist as she buttered the toast and spread some jam on each slice. She cut one in half and turned her head as she raised the half to his mouth and smiled as he took a bite.  
  
"Can you get the milk out?" She asked sweetly before taking a bite from the jammed toast herself. He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Eww!" She groaned and wiped the sticky jam from her skin. She turned to pinch his rib playfully and giggled when he chuckled.  
  
Marie watched this display curiously. They had only been seeing each other officially for 3 months and she could already see that they were more comfortable at home and completely professional at work with exception of the spontaneous display of affection about the lab.  
  
If she was certain, she was staying with her son at his request and Sara's, to prove that he had done something to put his life back on track. He'd definitely done that. She smiled as he made coffee and Sara munched on toast and handed pieces to Grissom. The smile that appeared on his face was something she hadn't seen in a long time.  
  
Sara leaned against Grissom's back and kissed his shoulder as she reached around him and picked up her cup. They both sat at the table and ate their breakfast while Marie continued to read her book. Both noticed their books and magazines in a pile on the table and reached for them simultaneously.  
  
Sliding the cordless phone across the table, Sara placed it in his hand. Everyone knew that Catherine wouldn't wait. "Don't forget to tell her about the warrant." She reminded him.  
  
3 months was a long time. Both talked, both laughed, both argued, but in the end, they were together and nothing but the future to look forward to.  
  
THE END  
  
R&R if you would please. 


End file.
